I feel like I’m evolving. Next level shit. I packed all day and napped and ate carbs and got sweaty. Moved a pickup truck load to the new house tonight. All by myself and that felt good. Turned the swamp cooler on to make sure it was working alright.
I gave up my routine when we started dating other people. At first it was to drive to Phoenix every weekend and then it was to camp at her house every Friday night. I’m the type of person that likes to cook on Sunday for lunches for the week. It’s harder when you have to balance a household in a different way. I want to create home again. Redefine it. That will be easier in a weeks time.
Also struggling still with feeling special and wanted and this paranoia I get that I’m being placated when I ask for something nice and then she does the nice thing. Working on that.
Healing is a choice. It’s not an easy one because it takes work to turn around your habits. But keep making the choice and shifts will happen.